


Do You Hear Me?

by idmakeitbehave



Series: Tiny Windows ― Spencer Reid/Reader Blurbs [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idmakeitbehave/pseuds/idmakeitbehave
Summary: Prompts:“I can’t do anything right.” // “Do you even still love me?”
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Series: Tiny Windows ― Spencer Reid/Reader Blurbs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124630
Comments: 1
Kudos: 67





	Do You Hear Me?

You pulled the blanket up to your chin, eyes fixed on the television as you fought back tears. The events of the last few weeks swam through your mind―all of the little failures, the things you hadn’t been able to do. The final straw had been when Hotch snapped at you today for a mistake you had made during a press conference. He didn’t acknowledge that it was your first attempt at one, that it was far out of your comfort zone; you were trying to fill in for JJ at the last minute. You were trying your best.

That didn’t matter. He had yelled at you in front of the entire team―well, not so much yelled as reprimanded you in the way that only he could. It somehow hurt more that way, cut deeper. It felt as though he had single-handedly brought to the surface every insecurity of yours, every persistent doubt. You began to wonder if maybe you weren’t cut out for this job. Maybe this was just another thing that you weren’t meant for.

A knock on your front door brought you out of your thoughts. You rubbed your eyes in a frantic attempt to wipe away the tears before answering, wrapping the blanket more tightly around your shoulders.

Spencer stood in the doorway, grocery bag in hand and a soft look on his face.

God, _Spencer_. You had barely spoken to him in weeks outside of work, too consumed with this―this feeling of failure. It went beyond the doubt that you couldn’t do your job, that you didn’t deserve to be there. It had begun to go so far as to feel as though you didn’t deserve _anything_. Especially Spencer. Spencer who had always been kind to you, always made you feel worthy. It had started long before the two of you were even dating, but now the nagging thoughts crept into the back of your mind―what was he doing with you?

“Can I come in?”

You nodded, stepping aside wordlessly to let him in. He sank onto the couch and patted the space beside him. Despite all of the distance that you had created, you couldn’t help but want to be near to him. You curled up under the blanket again, keeping just a bit of space between the two of you. Almost unnoticeable if you weren’t paying attention.

Spencer noticed. Of course he did. “Y/N, what’s going on?” he asked softly, his voice wavering. “Is it―is it something I did? We haven’t even seen each other outside of work in… in nineteen days.”

You shook your head quickly. The last thing you wanted was Spencer blaming himself for this. No, it was all you. “No. God, no, Spence. You didn’t do anything. It’s just―it’s me. **_I can’t do anything right._** ”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “Just… everything. All I’ve been doing is screwing everything up. I can’t―I can’t do my job. And Hotch? What he said hurt, but he’s… he was right.”

“Hotch was a _jackass_.” The word sounded so unfamiliar coming out of Spencer’s mouth and you looked up with a start, the faintest smile creeping onto your face. “I’m serious, Y/N. He was out of line. You were doing something you had _never_ done before, and you did a pretty damn good job. I told him as much. He just―you know how he can get.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “You told him he was a jackass?”

“Not in so many words,” he admitted with a shrug, “but I think he got the picture.”

You blinked away the tears that threatened to fall once more. “God, you are too good to me.”

“Absolutely not.”

You gave a noncommittal hum, staring down at your lap as you picked at the edge of the blanket. You wanted to believe him, but all of those doubts continued to make their way to the surface.

Spencer broke the silence. “This can’t be just about what Hotch said today.”

There was no point in lying to him. He had always been able to see right through you. “I just―I feel like I’m not good enough for anything. For this job, this life. For _you_.”

“Y/N―”

“ _ **Do you even still love me?**_ ” It came out a tremulous whisper; you could scarcely believe that you had said it aloud. It was the one creeping fear that haunted you most. You regretted saying it as soon as the words were out, biting your lip in a futile attempt to stop the tears from falling.

You blinked and Spencer’s hand was on your chin, gently turning your face towards his. He wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, his own eyes glistening. “Yes.” His voice was steady, sure. “I still love you. Of course I do. And nothing you could do will ever make it stop.” His eyes searched yours. “Do you hear me?”

You nodded. “I hear you.”

“Good.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek before picking up the grocery bag from the floor and handing it to you. “Because I brought you some ‘my-boss-was-a-jackass’ ice cream.”


End file.
